رسائل يقرؤها أي أحد

करन, तुम कहते थे कि दोस्ती दूरी से नहीं, चुप्पी से टूटती है। तुम कनाडा गए तो हमने वादा किया कि हर रविवार बात करेंगे। पहले साल हर रविवार की, दूसरे साल हर दूसरे रविवार, और फिर बस जन्मदिन पर। हम दोनों में से किसी ने कुछ ग़लत नहीं किया। बस ज़िंदगी ने हमें अलग-अलग कमरे दे दिए। आज झील पर गया था। बत्तखें अब भी हैं, गिनती में कुछ कम, शायद कुछ नई। मैंने उन्हें गिना, और फिर तुम्हें फ़ोन करने के लिए फ़ोन निकाला। यह चिट्ठी उसी फ़ोन से लिख रहा हूँ। इस बार चुप्पी मैं तोड़ रहा हूँ।

Aiman, I keep trying to explain to people here what a mamak stall is, and I can't. I say it's a restaurant. That's wrong. I say it's a place that never closes, with plastic chairs and a television showing football from somewhere else, where a man pours tea from one jug to another like he is pulling a ribbon. That's closer. What I can't explain is that it was the only place in a city of eight million where I felt someone was waiting for me. You were. Every night, with the second chair already pushed out with your foot. Thank you for the chair.

Kerem, artık çayı kendim demliyorum ama hiçbir zaman seninki gibi olmuyor. Ya çok açık oluyor ya çok koyu. Sen hiç ölçmezdin, demliğe bir bakar 'tamam' derdin, ve tamam olurdu. Dört yıl boyunca sınavlardan önce, ayrılıklardan sonra, babamın hastalandığı o uzun kış, o bardak hep masamda belirdi. Hiç teşekkür etmedim, çünkü teşekkür edilecek bir şey gibi gelmiyordu, hava gibiydi. Şimdi biliyorum: hava gibi olan şeyler en çok teşekkürü hak edenlerdir. Teşekkür ederim, oda arkadaşım. Bir dahaki çay benden.

Asad, nobody tells you that a friendship can end without a fight. Ours just thinned out, like a track running into the desert. A wedding I missed, a call I meant to return, your new city, my new job, and then one day I realised I didn't know your children's names. There was no last argument to regret. That is almost worse: I can't apologise for anything, so I can't mend anything. I only want you to know that when something funny happens, my first thought is still to tell you, and my second is to remember I can't. I'm ringing this week. Pick up, you old fool.